Need some last-minute advice to make a costume so good, no one will recognize you?

Check out these 5 tips to remain incognito this #Halloween with the help of our spy dog, Calliope.https://t.co/JZNiqiU9kN#SpyKids pic.twitter.com/1F8Zc6ihzq

— CIA (@CIA) October 28, 2019

I don't think I ever related to the White Guy Blinking Meme as much as I did after this tweet crossed my timeline.

I did in fact click through to their "CIA Kids Guide: 5 Ways To Stay Covert This Halloween" and I…I don't even know where to begin.

I kind of love this as a piece of propaganda because the first tip and the last three are at least useful (if completely fucking obvious for anyone who's ever watched a spy movie). But then there's #2, "Think Simple," which … I know this is meant for the CIA's kids' outreach section, but come on. You're not even pretending that you're not indoctrinating kids to make it easier to surveil them!

I guess it'd be too much to hope for that the CIA might offer helpful advice on VPNs and anti-surveillance attire—but even then, I probably wouldn't trust it.

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