Things got heated outside a Senate Intelligence Committee hearing about social media today when conspiracy theorist Alex Jones touched the person of Sen. Marco Rubio in a successful attempt to get him into a deranged discussion about social media.

When Jones reached out to touch Rubio's shoulder, the senator glared at Jones, warning him not to touch him again in front of a gaggle of reporters with cameras and notebooks.

"You're not gonna get arrested man," Rubio said after Jones said he had only "padded you nicely." "I'll handle it myself."

Jones then accused Rubio of threatening to beat him up.

“Marco Rubio just threatened to beat me up,” Jones told a camera trailing him around on Capitol Hill.

“I didn't say that,” Rubio said.

After being booted from most social media sites over his barely fig-leaved calls for political violence, Jones' fortunes have fallen fast. Expect more and bigger stunts like this.

Do not miss Jones' impression of Rubio, as captured by Vice News's Jesse Seidman.

Alex Jones moments after his little verbal altercation with @marcorubio pic.twitter.com/ft6FI43yhb

— Jesse Seidman (@jmseidman) September 5, 2018

UPDATE: I have made this into a looping GIF. You're welcome.

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Note: some understandably NSFW language. Watching morons get out of their cars in front of apex predators has become a YouTube genre, but rarely are they stupid enough to walk out in pen fields with their children while in clear view of said predators. Read the rest

After a Royal Palm Beach man crashed his car, he wanted police officers to check his dashcam to prove it was the other driver's fault. Read the rest

When a gentleman in an orange hat thinks it's okay to grab a topless woman's breast and then run off at a music festival, the woman and her friend take matters into their own hands. They immediately turn around and, without missing a beat, follow him to where he sits in the grass with his friends. The friend first pours her red slushy drink over him, and then the one who's been assaulted hits him three times before the two walk off. Nice to see a moron get what he deserves. Read the rest

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, the former oil executive who famously called his boss a "fucking moron," is about to be fired by Trump. White House Plans Tillerson Ouster From State Dept., to Be Replaced by Pompeo, claims The New York Times.

The White House has developed a plan to force out Secretary of State Rex W. Tillerson, whose relationship with President Trump has been strained, and replace him with Mike Pompeo, the C.I.A. director, perhaps within the next several weeks, senior administration officials said on Thursday.

Rumor has it Tillerson is both a) refusing to cooperate with Trump's preferred North Korea strategy of vacuous public insults and threats, and b) had the temerity to tell him that retweet British fascists' islamophobic hate videos presented a serious diplomatic problem that could jeopardize the safety of consular staff in Muslim-majority nations.

The White House outright denies it, though.

Rex Tillerson will remain as U.S. secretary of state, a White House spokesperson said on Thursday, amid reports Tillerson will be removed in favour of Mike Pompeo, who is currently CIA director.

"When the president loses confidence in someone, they will no longer serve here," White House press secretary Sarah Sanders said when asked about reports of a staff shakeup.

Troy E. Nehls is the sheriff in Fort Bend County, Texas. Troy here thinks that it's illegal to have a "Fuck Trump" sticker on your truck, and called on the public to track down the owner so they could be threatened with a disorderly conduct charge.

"I have received numerous calls regarding the offensive display on this truck as it is often seen along FM 359," he wrote on Facebook. "If you know who owns this truck or it is yours, I would like to discuss it with you. Our Prosecutor has informed us she would accept Disorderly Conduct charges regarding it, but I feel we could come to an agreement regarding a modification to it."

The easily-offended Nehls, himself reportedly considering a run for political office, has a problem: the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, which guarantees the right to upset the delicate feelings of public officials like him and president Trump — even if the words are naughty.

Moroever, the truck belongs to a former employee, whose wife Karen has more words for her sweet summer sheriff, and for a cop who pulled the vehicle over in hopes of finding something to charge them with.

"It's just our freedom of speech and we're exercising it," she told the Houston Chronicle.

Worse for Nehls, the local district attorney, John Healey, publicly rejected his assertion a prosecution was on the cards.

Healey, a Republican not seeking re-election next year, said he wished the sheriff's office had contacted him earlier about the incendiary issue.

Michael Bloomberg, the billionaire former mayor of New York City, has decided not to run for president on an independent ticket. Read the rest