You never knew you needed it. Now you have it.

“Pop-tarts and Fine Whiskeys, a Pairing Guide,” by IMGURian @acetech09. Yes, it includes rums and sake and other liquors.

Pop-tart: Cookies & Creme Spirit*: Zacapa XO, Guatemala Rum

The creamy, chocolately, and surprisingly tasty richness of this pasty is quite satisfying. Zacapa XO is an equally decadent rum that is aged in an array of wine casks. This slightly tannic fruitiness that is imbued in the spirit compliments perfectly with the pastry.

Enjoy the whole gallery.

Pop-tarts and Fine Whiskeys, a Pairing Guide

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Talk about being irresponsible, Sunset posted an article that suggests serving a "THC-laced turkey gravy" as a way to avoid, or smooth over, uncomfortable conversations with your family at the Thanksgiving table. Read the rest

Santa Paws is coming to town.

Trader Joe's is making the countdown to Christmas more fun this year by offering an advent calendar for fur babies.

An episode of the Inside Trader Joe's podcast made the reveal last month.

"Last year we came out with the dog advent calendar, which seemed pretty odd until we got out in the stores and there was quite a following for it, reports Colin Fields, vice president of merchandising for the grocery chain, "And we heard from our feline, loving customers that we should have something for their cats. So we found it, we developed it and it's pretty cool."

What's inside of the calendars? Fields shares that it's filled with "magical treats made of salmon and seaweed." Because, he says, "cats actually love seaweed."

No word on when exactly these kitty calendars will hit stores.

(Bustle)

photo by Lisa Zins via Flickr Read the rest

"Fireworks," a classic by PES. Happy Independence Day!

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Donald Trump, answering a phone call about Santa Claus from a child, 7, on Christmas Eve:

"Are you still a believer in Santa? Because at seven it's marginal, right?" Read the rest

"Every child must be made aware."

Directed by Flaming Lips madman mastermind Wayne Coyne and longtime Lips visual art/video collaborator George Salisbury.

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“I was born without my right hand and play guitar with a duct tape pick I made,” says IMGURian abshow. “I play drums too!” Read the rest

Unmute this one! Read the rest

As a rule, the only Christmas music I can stand is Vince Guaraldi's "A Charlie Brown Christmas." Now though, I can punctuate those exceedingly joyful jazz tunes with my friend Greg Dulli of The Afghan Whigs doing his hauntingly beautiful take on "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas."

“I saw Meet Me In St. Louis as a child and this song just stayed with me forever,” Greg said. “It has a spectral quality that I always wanted to exaggerate.”

photo by Sam Holden Read the rest

In the early 20th century, Arthur Earland and Edward Heron-Allen volunteered at what's now called the Natural History Museum, London (NHM). The two men spent their time researching fossils of single-celled organisms with shells, called Foraminifera, cataloging the various species, and creating microscope slides of the specimens. But each year when Christmas came around, they transformed their unique interest and skill into a fantastically fun gift exchange. From Smithsonian:

These Christmas-themed slides, which the two exchanged over their years of collaboration, had personalized greetings spelled out with microfossils (a term for fossils measuring under 1mm in size) that would be visible under a microscope. One from 1912 has Earland’s initials (“AE”), “XMAS,” and the year in an arrangement that measures about 1cm across.

Several examples of their Christmas slides are now in the collections of NHM. The 1912 slide is a part of the museum’s touring exhibition Treasures of the Natural World alongside birds studied by Charles Darwin and an Iguanodon bone described by Richard Owen. More humble than these illustrious objects, the slide is still an incredible work of art and science, with each small fossilized shell carefully selected and delicately attached to the slide using a fine paint brush and Tragacanth gum...

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This is my new favorite holiday video, forever. Read the rest

The Satanic Temple of Chicago has installed a stately and elegant statue at the Illinois Capitol between the Christmas tree and Hanukkah menorah. Predictably, some people are pissed. Approximately 4.5 feet tall, the statue features a snake around an arm with the hand clutching an apple. The pedestal is emblazoned with the statement "Knowledge is the greatest gift." From CNN:

"We feel it's a First Amendment issue, we have other displays there -- a Hanukkah menorah and Nativity scene," (Secretary of State's office spokesperson Dave) Drucker said. "If you have displays of one type you need to be consistent and allow everyone to do so, aside from hate speeches and other unacceptable things."

The Satanic Temple says that its members are atheists who are often interested in community activism, according to the group's website.

"We do not promote a belief in a personal Satan," the website says. "To embrace the name Satan is to embrace rational inquiry removed from supernaturalism and archaic tradition-based superstitions." The group says it embraces the "struggle for justice" and believes people should "strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures," according to its website.

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Editor's note: We love this one-stop spreadsheet of women-led businesses created by Krystal Plomatos, and encourage you to share it with friends and family. Give women your money, this holiday season and beyond. Read the rest

Put some floating disembodied heads on your gift wrap this year with Gift Wrap My Face. They will make you wrapping paper custom made with your face on it... or someone else's.

Here's what Abraham Lincoln looks like on some Christmas paper:

And here's what I look like on one of their Thanksgiving designs:

Maybe I should have centered my photo better in their template but you get the idea.

There are a lot of background designs to choose from and prices start at $9.95.

(The Awesomer) Read the rest

It's Columbus Day: a holiday slapped together to celebrate a raping, murdering, plunder-horny opportunist that's been dead for hundreds of years. Columbus, Ohio? It was named after the gold loving bastard. Despite this, for the first time since the city's founding in 1812, Columbus Day won't be celebrated there. Instead, the city's government has opted to throw the days off that are typically allotted to the holiday at something far more important: honoring the United States' veterans.

From AP News:

Ohio’s capital city, population 860,000, will be open for business Monday after observing Columbus Day probably “for as long as it had been in existence,” said Robin Davis, a spokeswoman for Democratic Mayor Andrew Ginther. City offices will close instead on Veterans Day, which falls on Nov. 12 this year.

“We have a number of veterans who work for the city, and there are so many here in Columbus,” Davis said. “We thought it was important to honor them with that day off.” And, she said, the city doesn’t have the budget to give its 8,500 employees both days off, she said.

The way that city of Columbus gave the shaft to Columbus Day is absolutely genius. According to the AP, instead of having a public vote over whether or not the city should abolish the observation of the holiday--something that has, in other locales, drawn protests, and a whack of political moaning--they opted to announce, late last week, that they were shifting the city's stock of holiday hours from the contentious holiday to be used on Veteran's Day in November. Read the rest

Somewhere in New Zealand, a seven-year-old boy had an idea to celebrate the spirit of the wolf. His mom shared it on Facebook. And over the course of just a few days, thousands of people, many desperate for something happy after a miserable week, joined the call to celebration.

This is Wolfenoot.

A holiday where we get presents and feast on roasted meat and cake for being kind to dogs?

YES, PLEASE.

I first heard of Wolfenoot when a friend shared author Jax Goss's Facebook post, and joined the enthusiastic chorus of people planning their Woolfenoot feasts. I reached out to Jax through Twitter to ask how her son created Wolfenoot.

There's not a huge amount of background really. I have a very imaginative child who is always coming up with stuff like this. I've been posting the crazy awesome and weird things he says for as long as he's been saying things. ;) This one just exploded.

I'm not sure where he got this from, to be honest. When I asked him, he said "from my brain". Hehe. Very helpful that. ;) But I am a writer, editor and publisher. I am also a folklore nerd, so he has grown up in a house with a lot of books and stories and fairytales. I have a masters in children's literature, so there are stacks of books in our house. He reads avidly - well above his age level. I think maybe just growing up among all that story has kinda seeped into his brain.

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What do you call someone who derives pleasure from the bread of affliction?

A matzochist.

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Why do we have a Haggadah at Passover?

So we can Seder right words.

Share your own in the comments! Happy Passover! Read the rest