Robot Rubio repeats same line four times, even after being mocked

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Saturday evening's GOP debate was a shitshow for Marco Rubio, who sweated profusely and robotically repeated one line four times, even after presidential rival Chris Christie mocked his use of that exact canned point.

At 8:30 pm, Rubio said "Let's dispel once and for all with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn't know what he's doing. He knows exactly what he's doing."

Barely two minutes later, he repeated it: "Let's dispel with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn't know what he's doing. He knows exactly what he's doing," and again ninety seconds on, "This notion that Barack Obama doesn't know what he's doing is just not true. He knows exactly what he's doing."

At that point, Christie quipped, "there he goes again," but it didn't stop Rubio from using the same line again at 9:21 pm: "I think anyone who believes that Barack Obama isn't doing what he's doing on purpose doesn't understand what we're dealing with here. O.K.?"

The bizarre sequence has launched a zillion mocking tweets and is being described as Marco's "Howard Dean" moment in honor of the 2004 Democrat candidate's bizarre shriek of enthusiasm. The robotic quality of Rubio's performance, however, has already launched parodies such as the RubioGlitch twitter account:

You have already guessed what is said in the rest of RubioGlitch's tweets. Read the rest

Sarah Palin endorsed Donald Trump and it got weird

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The tenor of her announcement, and of the American right in general, is perfectly summed up by this Vine video:

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Creator of "Republicans shooting dildos" blog explains himself

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Matt Haughey (of Metafilter fame), explains his latest project: Why I can’t stop putting dildos into the hands of powerful conservatives.

It’s been hilarious to see what I originally thought might be a tiny twitter art project that would hopefully crack up my friends spread like wildfire across social networks, and later to news sites, and eventually into many other languages. Mostly people see it for what it is, a silly way to express frustration at The United States’ current endless cycle of gun tragedy followed by inaction while leaders posture with their weapons in defiance of any changes.

It's a perfect little mix of symbolism, with something for everyone: denial, pandering, sexual liberation, impotence, and the devil always having the best tunes.

Of course, it being on the Internet, there’s a flipside reaction as well. I’ve been asked to meet people to see their guns, and perhaps to experience getting shot by them, I’ve had people on Twitter tell me all the things they want to do with a dildo to me, and I’ve even had a guy say he’d love to shove his gun up my ass and pull the trigger so I got the full idea of how powerful his weapons are. Usually I block or mute people on Twitter that tell me stuff like that so I don’t have to see it again.

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Chris Christie ejected from Amtrak quiet car

Reuters

Republican presidential contender Chris Christie was told to leave a train's "quiet car" after people complained he was shouting into his cellphone, according to passenger Alexander Mann.

Mann told Gawker's Melissa Cronin that Christie seemed angry at his security detail, or something.

He got on last minute yelling at his two secret service agents I think because of a seat mixup, sat down and immediately started making phone calls on the quiet car. After about 10 minutes the conductor asked him to stop or go to another car. He got up and walked out again yelling at his secret service. He was drinking a McDonald’s strawberry smoothie.

CNN reports that New Jersey governor Christie, currently polling at homeopathic fractions, was on a 9:55 a.m. train headed out of Washington, D.C., after a TV appearance.

He walked onto the train with a McDonald's strawberry smoothie, already chewing out someone who was with him, possibly a security officer, about a mix-up in seating arrangements, according to Alexander Mann, a passenger on the same train who detailed the Christie incident to CNN in an email and in photos.

Mann wrote that just before the train departed, Christie boarded behind "two men who appeared to be Secret Service agents" -- though that's unlikely, since Christie doesn't yet have Secret Service detail; his staff said he traveled Sunday with one New Jersey state trooper -- and was "yelling at them about some sort of mixup with the seating arrangements and how they had let it happen."

The quiet car, however, is for travelers who are quiet. Read the rest

Republican debate, sans words

Democracy at work. (The Woodcreek Faction)

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Republican Scott Walker quits presidential race

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"I am being called to lead by helping to clear the field in this race," said Walker, to the mirth of many, the lament of few, and the disinterest of all.

Once a considered a front-runner, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker has decided to end his campaign for US president amid dwindling contributions and plummeting poll numbers.

Unlike some rivals, the Republican had a large and costly campaign operation.… A recent CNN poll shows he had support of less than one half of one percent of Republican primary voters.

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Survivor bandmembers “gobsmacked” at Kim Davis and Mike Huckabee using 'Eye of the Tiger' at rally

Sylvester Stallone in the movie "Rocky 2."
Survivor guitarist and “Eye of the Tiger” co-writer Frankie Sullivan says nobody in their camp granted permission for their 1982 hit song to be featured at a rally for Kim Davis without their permission.

Kim Davis welcome out of jail rally played “Eye of the Tiger” theme song

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Gay-hatin' Lord-fearin' American Martyr Kim Davis and former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee celebrate Davis' release from jail with an overused '80s sports anthem. Read the rest

WATCH: The GOP primary debate, songified

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"We Need Brain" is a quotation from Donald Trump at last night's GOP presidential primary debate, and it's the title of the songified version by the Gregory Brothers. Worth watching just for the GIF-able clips like these: Read the rest

Musicians tend to hate it when Republicans use their music

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When Neil Young objected to the bizarre use of his music during Donald Trump's presidential campaign announcement, it wasn't anyone's first rodeo. There is a long, proud history of Republican politicians not listening to the words of songs they don't get permission to use.

1. Springsteen objected to Reagan’s use of the song “Born in the U.S.A.” during the 1984 election. 2. Reagan also got dinged in 1984 by John Cougar Mellencamp for “Pink Houses.” Bobby McFerrin objected to George H.W. Bush using the song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” in 1988. 3. Sam & Dave objected to Bob Dole using the song “Soul Man” in 1996.

Sting offers a "rare bit of bipartisanship," objecting to Al Gore's use of "Brand New Day" in the 2000 election, as well as Bush's use of "Brand New Day" in the 2000 election. Read the rest

The champagne of national unity

According to a survey of 200,000 Americans, Miller High Life is the most bi-partisan of beers. Republicans favor Samuel Adams and, apparently, there are a lot of Democrats drinking Heineken. (Although one might argue that these results are heavily skewed, as the survey did not include either microbrews or microparties. God only knows what the Libertarians are drinking.) There's a chart. Yay, charts! (Via Kevin Zelnio) Read the rest

TOM THE DANCING BUG: Use Your Republican Decoder Badge To Find Out Their SECRET MESSAGES!

RECOMMEND: Visit the Tom the Dancing Bug website, and follow Ruben Bolling on Twitter. Read the rest