I might be 12, but my brain went straight to the gutter when I saw this weird banana-filling gadget. This thing is marketed to kids, even though it seems rather inappropriate!
So, this is how the $27 "Banana Surprise" works. You cut off the tip, just the tip. Then, you rest the fruit in the "Yumstation." Now, this is where the fun begins. You get out the tool and jam it into the end and then quickly pull out. And now, according to the directions, it's time to fill that hole with some sweet syrup, fruit puree, or cream.
Surprise, you have an oozing, dripping piece of phallic fruit!
It's just a banana. It's just a banana. It's just a banana.
Related: The phallic pop-up egg-on-a-stick cooker gadget
(Geekologie) Read the rest
Would you spend $530 on a pair of sneakers that were described like this?
Crumply, hold-it-all-together tape details a distressed leather sneaker in a retro low profile with a signature sidewall star and a grungy rubber cupsole.
Yeah, neither would I, and neither would these folks (aka "the internet"):
Once available at Nordstrom online, these held-together-with-tape sneakers by Italian luxury brand Golden Goose are currently sold out (or removed??). Not to worry, they have plenty of other filthy, overpriced shoes to choose from. Read the rest
These putty-colored pumps by Maison Margiela ($825) are described as "cloven toe." I might be 12, but wouldn't a better description be "camel toe"?
A similarly racy shoe is available in red for $1080.
Thanks, Caroline B.! Read the rest
Step aside couture platform Crocs, you've got some competition for world's most ridiculous spongy-soled shoes. Crocs now come in high heels. I wish I were kidding. Check it and see. Read the rest
I came across the strangest Aloha shirt on Instagram the other day, one called the "Hawaiian Shuffle" ($55). It depicts Chunk of The Goonies, amongst the shirt's tropical foliage, doing his "Truffle Shuffle."
1. I'm 99.9% sure this is an unlicensed Goonies product, which means child-actor-turned-entertainment-lawyer Jeff Cohen (aka Chunk) won't see a dime from its sales (maybe I'm wrong!);
2. A 2015 UPROXX article describes how the film's director Richard Donner felt about that scene and what he did to help Cohen later in life:
Read the rest
Watching the movie as kids, we probably weren’t too aware of how mean the “Truffle Shuffle” was, mainly because Chunk reluctantly performed it for his friends and then went about his business... However, Donner recalls it as a “painful” scene to film and it was ultimately the catalyst for his lasting relationship with Cohen.
“There was no direction,” Donner explained. “I don’t take any credit for that, it was just Jeff. He had to stand on that stump and be ridiculed by his friends so he could come in the house, and he did it as best as that character could do it. So much humor comes from pain. Although, I’m sure he was too young to be analytical about it, but I’m sure that was part of his instincts. It was a painful scene.”
In fact, Cohen told us that Donner hiring him as a production assistant when he was jobless was what opened the door for him to “learn the business of show business.”
“Jeff became very special as an individual for me when he did the Truffle Shuffle because there was an honest pain in that scene for that little boy in front of those little kids,” Donner said.
I don't think I'm cool enough to have these Dream Pops delivered to my house monthly, or ever.
Plant-based ice cream. Packed with superfoods. Dairy, gluten and soy free. All under 100 calories with no artificial additives or stabilizers. We figured it was time to bring ice cream into the 21st century – with real food and real ingredients that you can actually pronounce.
Thanks, Moe! Read the rest
With Father's Day around the corner, the folks behind A.1. Sauce have rolled out (what they consider to be) the greatest gift for dad's ever: meat-scented candles.
The three "meat scents" are Burger, Backyard BBQ, and Original Meat (which they write, "pairs well with dad jokes"). Each candle costs $14.99.
(bookofjoe) Read the rest
Daiki Suzuki's menswear brand Engineered Garments took the iconic Dr. Martens 1461 shoe and made them into grandpa shoes by adding velcro straps.
They're available in five colors at End. Clothing for $229/pair.
Previously: William Blake Doc Martens and Turn your shoes into roller skates
(The Awesomer) Read the rest
Luxury brands Dolce&Gabbana and SMEG have teamed up to create a series of hand-painted, 1950s style refrigerators that have been made available at Neiman Marcus. There are six designs in total, all painted in Italy by Sicilian artists including Michele Ducato, Gianfranco Fiore, and Michelangelo Lacagnina.
On one hand they're charming. On the other, they cost $50,000 each (plus $495 for shipping) and have a "care" note that's of concern:
Read the rest
The refrigerator compartment has automatic defrosting. During normal operation of the refrigerator, frost forms on its back wall when the compressor is working and dissolves when it is not in operation. When the compressor is not working, the frost which has built up on the back wall melts and the water flows into the opening provided in the bottom of the body of the refrigerator. From here, it flows into the tray on the compressor, where it evaporates.
The freezer compartment has to be defrosted manually. When the thickness of frost or ice on the shelves exceeds 0.75" or 2 cm, the freezer should be defrosted. A few hours before defrosting, use the knob provided to set the thermostat on 7 in order to further lower the temperature of the frozen foods. Then turn the knob to the 0 (STOP) setting and disconnect the plug from the electrical mains. Remove the frozen foods from the freezer compartment and protect them from thawing while cleaning. Place a container underneath the pipe to collect the defrosted water.
Clean both refrigerator and freezer compartment about once a month to prevent odors from building up.
Riffraff, step aside. A line of garden hoses for the more discerning yard worker has arrived.
With models like the Gold Digger ("certainly a statement piece is for those who love a bit of show off"), the "graceful and refined" Rusty Rose, and the Caribbean Kiss (which "will make you dream of a tropical beach edged with palm trees"), it's clear that Garden Glory's hoses are no ordinary lawn wetting devices.
The prices are not ordinary either. Hoses are $119 each (plus an additional $49 to $119 for the matchy-matchy nozzle) and come with an "elegant designer bag." Don't forget to kickdown for that complementary Reindeer Wall Mount ($299) to wrap your hose around. Add a pair of golden gloves for $59 and then snap some selfies of yourself "gardening." Your Instagram feed is sure to explode.
All of your "luxurious alternative garden appliances" dreams have come true. **pinch**
images via Garden Glory Read the rest
We've seen Disneyland-scented candles before but now there are new contenders in the category of "Things that smell like something you'd find in a Disney resort."
While the Magic Candle Company in Kissimmee, Florida is not affiliated with Disney in any official way, they have made an entire line of candles, wax melts, and spray-on room fragrances that smell like something you'd find in a Disney park.
I think the funniest one is this "Pirate Water" which is scented like the "musty, damp smell" of a familiar "dark water ride" (ie. the Bromine-filled waters of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride).
Take a whiff down memory lane with their other (completely unofficial and unsanctioned) scents like: Pinocchio's Village (a "powerful aroma of pistachio nuts, almond, honey, heliotrope, and rich, creamy vanilla custard"), Churro ("cinnamon, sugar and hints of bergamot and creamy dark chocolate"), and the Pineapple Float (they write, "'Dole' out a smile every time you smell our Pineapple Float fragrance").
There's also something called Walt's Office which is the "warm and spicy aroma of cured pipe tobacco."
Prices are $7.95 for wax melts, $18.95 for the room sprays, and between $15.95 and $28.95 for the candles.
The Magic Candle Company
Thanks, Frank! Read the rest