This isn't a gas can — it's a purse

Give me a fun novelty purse and I'm a happy gal. The kitschier the better. My collection ranges from vintage Enid Collins bags to modern-day Betsey Johnson ones (the whipped cream can is probably my favorite). My most recent acquisition is shaped to look like an oversized box of Chinese food. Now I've learned that Russian Etsy shop KruKru Studio is making leather purses that look like gas cans ($180), and lots of other uniquely-shaped bags. All of them are out of my price range but I still appreciate the heck out of them.

(Neatorama) Read the rest

$tupid jewelry: Earring-card earring

This poor gal could only afford half a pair. If only there was another way...

French design house Maison Margiela has a long history of making dumb stuff in the name of fashion. But now they've really topped themselves. Introducing Tag, a single earring made of a pair of gold (well, brass) hoop earrings on a white lambskin card. The cost? Well, it was $305 but now you can get one for just $92 on sale.

It's being called "shoplifter chic":

And it's not the first time it's been done:

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🦋🎄Been getting a lot of attention about this recent meme post by @3.1415926535897932384626433832 and calling out that time @maisonmargiela copied a design earlier this year . Thanks for calling it out and supporting small businesses with authentic design ideas 🌹💕 Merry christmas .

A post shared by GEORGINA TREVIÑO JEWELRY (@georginatrevino) on Dec 25, 2019 at 11:27am PST

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Amazing photos of my design for Artistar Jewels Book, 📷 by Andrea Salpetre #staceyhuang #jewellery #artistarjewels2018

A post shared by Stacey Huang (@stacey_huangg) on Feb 4, 2018 at 5:07am PST

(Neatorama)

screenshots via Ssense Read the rest

And we've come full circle: Carrying straps for wireless AirPods

Seems people are afraid of losing their AirPods, which you may remember are wireless. Well, a company named Tapper is tapping into their fears by offering $60 AirPod carrying straps. Available at Nordstrom.

Previously: Prankster puts fake AirPod stickers on city streets

(BI) Read the rest

The decapitated swan pool float is a summer must-have for total weirdos

Just when you thought pool floats couldn't get any stranger, a beheaded swan floatie has surfaced for your summertime-buying pleasure. It comes after last summer's bizarro pink coffin float and what is possibly its precursor, David's Shrigley's Ridiculous Inflatable Swan-Thing.

This $79 toy is a two-piece item that includes both the swan's body and its chopped-off head. It's brought to us by mschf internet studios and artist Lukas Bentel (glancing at his site, it appears decapitated flamingo and unicorn floats are also in the works).

While we're talking about unusual water toys, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention two new lawn sprinklers: the giant mermaid tail and the "JumpOff Jo" unicorn -- both of which suggestively squirt water out of their tails.

(Swiss Miss) Read the rest

Sandal socks make you look like you're wearing Birkenstocks

It's debatable whether it's ok to wear sandals with socks but what about socks that look like you're wearing sandals? What's next, wearing sandal socks ($11/pair) with actual sandals? Whatever happens, can we please call these things "Birkensocks"?

(Pee-wee Herman) Read the rest

Two brothers deface worthless baseball cards for fun and profit

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, being juvenile can pay off. Two brothers have proven this. They've been humorously scribbling on baseball cards since they were kids and now it's landed them a book deal. As children of the 80s, Beau and Bryan Abbott spent their allowance on their baseball card only to discover the collection wasn't worth the cardstock it was printed on. Instead of dumping the long boxes full of cards, the then-elementary-aged boys started "enhancing" them with Sharpies in "endlessly shameless and shameful attempts at making one another laugh." This continued until high school when they stopped for a while.

Mashable (link mine):

Then, while Beau was at the San Francisco Art Institute, Bryan sent Beau a care package with a bunch of newly vandalized baseball cards. Beau showed his fellow students and professors and the cards became a big hit.

Their popular Tumblr has been around since 2012, their Instagram is gaining some traction, and now their first book is coming out in early March. Baseball Card Vandals: Over 200 Decent Jokes on Worthless Cards! can be pre-ordered now for $12.76. You can also purchase individual cards directly from the Abbott brothers ($35 and up).

(RED) Read the rest

For Sale: (1) Santa in Carbonite

John Eldredge of St. Petersburg, Florida writes in a Facebook Marketplace listing that he made this lifesize Santa in Carbonite for a sci-fi Christmas party. But the party's over and Santa must go. $200.

Light settings are adjustable to flash at different speeds or not at all. Made with wood, clothes and a lot of hot glue! It's basically a craft and not a precision model, but looks cool. Side panels are made with cosplay foam. Unit is pretty light and stands about 6.5 ft. tall.

photo via John Eldredge/Facebook

(Nerdcore) Read the rest

Yellies toy spiders: "The louder you yell, the faster they move"

This year's hot -- and controversial -- holiday toys are Hasbro's Yellies, a line of plush spider-like ("Spooders) creatures that move faster when you scream at them.

The toys are creating quite a kerfuffle with parents who think the toys are a bad idea.

One mother shared that her son was scared of the toy and that it actually fed off her kid's "screams of terror":

...Being the mother of a naturally loud and boisterous kid, I thought it would be the perfect Christmas present... well I couldn’t wait for Christmas. So I crack it open tonight, and get a good look at it. I test it out. I’m amazed at how powerful the little motor is... how fast the little legs move... how its creepy little eyes glow a lovely shade of radioactive green. So I call Leo in. He looks at it, cocks his little head to the side. And then, obviously, I yelled at it. The spider ran for it. Leo starts screaming... the louder he screams, the faster the spider pursued him. He runs. And this is when we discovered the fun little feature in which the spider has a tendency to stop abruptly... pause for a couple seconds... spin in several erratic circles... and then turn towards wherever it senses sound... and take off in that direction.

Read the rest

Behold, the digging dog butt tissue holder!

I thought I had seen it all but now there's this... the Digging Dog Butt Tissue Holder ($28).

"Get laughs as you pull tissues from this diligently digging dog's behind."

Oh, I will.

"Great way for a teacher, therapist, or salesperson to get smiles."

Obviously.

Surprise, it's just a square box of tissues under there! Read the rest

Possibly NSFW: A gadget that injects bananas with syrup

I might be 12, but my brain went straight to the gutter when I saw this weird banana-filling gadget. This thing is marketed to kids, even though it seems rather inappropriate!

So, this is how the $27 "Banana Surprise" works. You cut off the tip, just the tip. Then, you rest the fruit in the "Yumstation." Now, this is where the fun begins. You get out the tool and jam it into the end and then quickly pull out. And now, according to the directions, it's time to fill that hole with some sweet syrup, fruit puree, or cream.

Surprise, you have an oozing, dripping piece of phallic fruit!

It's just a banana. It's just a banana. It's just a banana.

Related: The phallic pop-up egg-on-a-stick cooker gadget

(Geekologie) Read the rest

These $530 pre-distressed sneakers are pissing people off

Would you spend $530 on a pair of sneakers that were described like this?

Crumply, hold-it-all-together tape details a distressed leather sneaker in a retro low profile with a signature sidewall star and a grungy rubber cupsole.

Yeah, neither would I, and neither would these folks (aka "the internet"):

Once available at Nordstrom online, these held-together-with-tape sneakers by Italian luxury brand Golden Goose are currently sold out (or removed??). Not to worry, they have plenty of other filthy, overpriced shoes to choose from. Read the rest

These cloven toe pumps will make you look twice

These putty-colored pumps by Maison Margiela ($825) are described as "cloven toe." I might be 12, but wouldn't a better description be "camel toe"?

A similarly racy shoe is available in red for $1080.

Thanks, Caroline B.! Read the rest

High-heeled Crocs exist

Step aside couture platform Crocs, you've got some competition for world's most ridiculous spongy-soled shoes. Crocs now come in high heels. I wish I were kidding. Check it and see. Read the rest

There's a Hawaiian shirt of Chunk doing the "Truffle Shuffle"

I came across the strangest Aloha shirt on Instagram the other day, one called the "Hawaiian Shuffle" ($55). It depicts Chunk of The Goonies, amongst the shirt's tropical foliage, doing his "Truffle Shuffle."

Two things:

1. I'm 99.9% sure this is an unlicensed Goonies product, which means child-actor-turned-entertainment-lawyer Jeff Cohen (aka Chunk) won't see a dime from its sales (maybe I'm wrong!);

2. A 2015 UPROXX article describes how the film's director Richard Donner felt about that scene and what he did to help Cohen later in life:

Watching the movie as kids, we probably weren’t too aware of how mean the “Truffle Shuffle” was, mainly because Chunk reluctantly performed it for his friends and then went about his business... However, Donner recalls it as a “painful” scene to film and it was ultimately the catalyst for his lasting relationship with Cohen.

“There was no direction,” Donner explained. “I don’t take any credit for that, it was just Jeff. He had to stand on that stump and be ridiculed by his friends so he could come in the house, and he did it as best as that character could do it. So much humor comes from pain. Although, I’m sure he was too young to be analytical about it, but I’m sure that was part of his instincts. It was a painful scene.”

In fact, Cohen told us that Donner hiring him as a production assistant when he was jobless was what opened the door for him to “learn the business of show business.”

Read the rest

There's now a subscription service for fancy ice pops

I don't think I'm cool enough to have these Dream Pops delivered to my house monthly, or ever.

Plant-based ice cream. Packed with superfoods. Dairy, gluten and soy free. All under 100 calories with no artificial additives or stabilizers. We figured it was time to bring ice cream into the 21st century – with real food and real ingredients that you can actually pronounce.

Thanks, Moe! Read the rest

Meat-scented candles

With Father's Day around the corner, the folks behind A.1. Sauce have rolled out (what they consider to be) the greatest gift for dad's ever: meat-scented candles.

The three "meat scents" are Burger, Backyard BBQ, and Original Meat (which they write, "pairs well with dad jokes"). Each candle costs $14.99.

(bookofjoe) Read the rest

Doc Martens with velcro straps

Daiki Suzuki's menswear brand Engineered Garments took the iconic Dr. Martens 1461 shoe and made them into grandpa shoes by adding velcro straps.

They're available in five colors at End. Clothing for $229/pair.

Previously: William Blake Doc Martens and Turn your shoes into roller skates

(The Awesomer) Read the rest

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