Texas congressman Dan Crenshaw is furious over Fox News host Jesse Watters' accusation that he participates in insider trading. Here's what Watters said during the segment:

We have Republican Congressman Dan Crenshaw, who beat the market by 13 points. Overall, Democrats outperformed Republicans by about 13 points.

When nature called, Vivek Ramaswamy was hanging out in a Spaces chat with his fellow human, Elon "Pedo Guy" Musk. Ramaswamy's mute button did not get hit as the Republican primary's rodeo clown headed to the loo and relieved himself.

Apparently, rich people expect someone else to hit mute for them. — Read the rest

Like saying "fire" in a crowded theater, shouting "bomb" in a crowded plane is never a good idea, as one couple found out when one of them used the loaded word in an argument.

The agitated man and woman were traveling on a Breeze Airways flight headed to Rhode Island from Orlando, but during their explosive spat a father and his daughter told a crew member they heard the couple mention a bomb and wanted to change their seats. — Read the rest

The screening of a 45-minute terrorist atrocity compilation at the Museum of Tolerance descended into chaos Thursday despite a heavy police presence. Fisticuffs commenced outside the museum and people were pepper-sprayed, according to reports. Supporters described the screening as an essential reminder of Hamas's brutality, whereas opponents called it an effort to justify killing Palestinian civilians in the war in Gaza. — Read the rest

Two gentlemen fought each other in a territorial dispute over a famous photo spot near Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Pedra do Telegrafo (Telegraph Rock) looks as if it is directly over the ocean. People pose for photos by hanging from the rock, seemingly defying death. — Read the rest

It was as if Donald Trump were looking into a mirror on Friday when he said: "We have a man who is totally corrupt and the worst president in the history of our country, who is cognitively impaired. In no condition to lead…"

And then, as the "cognitively impaired," four-times indicted ex-president continued to bash President Biden, he time-shifted back to 1939: "… and is now in charge of dealing with Russia … Just think of it. — Read the rest

Republican candidate Larry Elder, furious that he didn't make the cut for tonight's debate, traveled to Milwaukee anyway, where he threatened Fox News and the RNC with $100 million fines.

"If by 2:00 I am not determined to be up on that stage, we're going to file this complaint with the FEC that could cause the RNC to incur a fine of $100 million," said the disgruntled radio host today, giving his ultimatum outside the debate venue. — Read the rest

Last month, the Ikitu indigenous residents of Alto Nanay District were terrorized by what they described as flying extraterrestrials.

"These gentlemen are aliens," one leader in the community reportedly said. "They seem armored like the Green Goblin from Spider-Man. — Read the rest

Walter Masterson joined his brothers in Chris at a recent anti-abortion march in New York, led by the extremely creepy Father Fidelis Moscinski.

Using his trusty bullhorn, Masterson read aloud passages from the Bible, which greatly irritated the gentlemen who were only interested in demonstrating their desire to control women's bodies, not in listening to Bible excerpts such as:

For his daughter's hand in marriage, King Saul wanted no less than one hundred Philistine foreskins.

The not-so-secret secret campout experience for ultra-rich dudes, The Bohemian Grove, is being sued by some of its valets again. A campout for people like fascist dictator art and Supreme Court Justice collector Harlan Crow to take his "dear friend" Clarence Thomas, it seems reasonable, would mistreat their manservants… just like back in the good ol' days. — Read the rest

Russell Crowe shared a clip of himself onstage with RZA from the Wu Tang Clan, from a show on May 19 in Sydney, Australia. Hip Hop DX explains:

On Friday (May 19), the Wu-Tang Clan leader joined the seasoned actor and his band The Gentlemen Barbers for a jam session at The Bridge Hotel in Sydney.

MAGA pastor Shane Vaughn has a batphone direct to God. And he knows the real reason why Tucker Carlson is gone. It wasn't that Carlson's advertisers had pulled out or that he was on record describing women colleagues in the most offensive terms imaginable or that he considered himself more important than Rupert Murdoch; no, it was those pesky demons that gave Tucker Carlson his walking papers. — Read the rest

Two men in Osaka wanted to make a "funny" video to post online, so one recorded the other using his chopsticks to eat pickled ginger out of a communal bowl at Yoshinoya — a popular fast food restaurant in Japan (see video below, posted by MBS). — Read the rest

Two teens in Maryland admired a shiny blue car and thought they could simply steal it from the driver sitting in the front seat. But after forcing the driver out and shutting themselves inside, the young gentlemen sat dumbfounded in their seats. — Read the rest

If you're a famous musician in the Sunshine State, get the hell out. Rapper Tekashi 6ix9ine was severely beaten and hospitalized yesterday at a Florida gym while Def Leppard drummer Rick Allen was attacked to the ground earlier this month while taking a smoke break. — Read the rest

Ben Stein apparently thinks that if he were a "colored" person 60 years ago, he would want to "kill himself." But don't worry, folks! If he were a Black person today, he would be thrilled by the way the "whole system is now set up so I as a Black American can have every chance at a good life." — Read the rest

Patti Smith remembers her friend, Television guitarist Tom Verlaine, who passed away on Jan. 28th.

He lived twenty-eight minutes from where I was raised. We could easily have sauntered into the same Wawa on the Wilmington-South Jersey border in search of Yoo-hoo or Tastykakes.

Conservative homophobes are gnashing their teeth over Pink Floyd's new logo commemorating The Dark Side of the Moon's 50th anniversary. Why? The colors remind them of the gay pride flag, which upsets their delicate boomer bigotry.

Seemingly unaware that the original album art for The Dark Side of the Moon also featured the colors of the rainbow, sensitive gay-haters flocked to social media to broadcast their displeasure, threaten a boycott, and demand that the band be canceled. — Read the rest

Meet two cats that are also incredibly distinguished gentlemen! Their names are Pringles and Mr. Bingley, they hail from Chicago, and they are taking the internet by storm. Their human makes funny videos of them, which often include the addition of tiny plastic hands, which make everything even more hilarious. — Read the rest

Two creepy gentlemen have allegedly used Apple's AirTags to stalk their exes — one in New York and one in Texas. Of course they should be arrested — if only the laws were that simple. But they're not, and now the women are suing not the men, but Apple for manufacturing the luggage-tracking devices. — Read the rest