A man at was filmed Monday yelling and threatening shoppers at a Costco in Fort Myers, Florida, reportedly after an elderly woman asked him why he wasn't wearing a mask. Clad in a "Running the world since 1776" tee shirt, the man puffs up his chest, balls his fists and yells "I FEEL THREATENED!" while belligerently advancing on the person filming.

Florida man at Fort Myers Costco in "Running the World Since 1776" shirt flips out on elderly woman who asked him to wear a mask and man who defended her #BecauseFlorida (via @profjaffar) pic.twitter.com/PDOvi33qHK

— Billy Corben (@BillyCorben) July 7, 2020

The clip posted to social media shows the man accusing the shoppers of "harassing" him at the Gulf Coast Town Center warehouse.

"I'm not harassing you," the person filming replies, "you're coming close to me."

"I feel threatened!" the man shouts, clenching his fists and advancing toward the camera. "Back up! Threaten me again! Back the fuck up, put your fucking phone down."

The person filming stops at this point. The man was "escorted out of the store" by Costco staff, according to the person who posted the video to Twitter.

Review / Logitech MX Keys

'To give Costco the credit, they escorted him out and made me wait inside and monitored him until he left and then they sent someone with me to the car to make sure I'm okay.'

Posters on social media speculated that the man yelling "I feel threatened!", despite being the aggressor, is an attempt to pre-emtively invoke Florida's "stand your ground" law. Read the rest

This is not something iguana see when I'm at a pizza restaurant. Read the rest

Miramar, Florida police arrested Matthew Crandall, 21, for allegedly breaking into Miramar High School and smashing up the place. He wore only a hat and headphones as he destroyed computers and TVs and apparently caused major flooding. The total wreckage is estimated at $100,000.

Crandall was identified from surveillance footage. According to the Associated Press, "it’s not known whether he has ties to the school."

(Thanks to our Florida bureau chief, Charles Pescovitz!) Read the rest

DeSantis announced Florida reopening same day as 350 new COVID-19 cases and 47 new deaths confirmed

Oh, yes this is real. Florida has officially declared WWE pro wrestling shows an 'essential business' that must be allowed to continue to operate during the deadly COVID-19 pandemic. Read the rest

In Florida, sheriff's officials say a trail of pill bottles stolen from a Florida pharmacy led detectives to a home where they encountered two men who matched descriptions of robbers seen on surveillance video. Read the rest

He wants to know why can't bring his emotional support life-sized cutout of Trump with him to treatments

The deputy said the inebriated man initially refused a breath test, saying: “You didn’t pull me over. I pulled you over.”

Florida Man strikes again. The dog is okay and is being cared for while his owner is booked into jail.

In Hillsborough County, Florida, the Sheriff’s Office says a gentleman named Logan Wilson admitted to shoplifting $259 worth of items from Bass Pro Shops.

Deputies say he was arrested during a traffic stop after he was seen departing the store with stolen goods.

According to a Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office Facebook post, volunteers there will take care of him until his owner bonds out of jail, but the shelter’s website has the puppy listed as “pre-adoptable.”

PHOTO: Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office.

THE CUTEST ACCOMPLICE: The owner of this small puppy was caught shoplifting at an area Bass Pro Shops with the puppy in hand! 🐾

Our District 5 Street Crimes Unit arrested the person for Petit Theft and possession of meth. #TeamHCSO deputies took great care of the puppy before handing him over to Hillsborough County Animal Services who will care for him until his owner is released from jail.

More: Canine accomplice taken into custody during shoplifting arrest [wtsp.com] Read the rest

A gentleman in Florida man is accused of using a Wisconsin woman's debit card information to purchase $68 worth of Little Caesar's pizza. Read the rest

‘I’m the Orlando Easter Bunny, Google it’

"Do you want to fuck snowman? It doesn't have to be a snowman…"

Apparently—if you're 20-year-old Cody Meadar of St. Petersburg, Florida—it could also be a stuffed toy unicorn.

From the Tampa Bay Times:

A St. Petersburg man was arrested Tuesday after police said he “dry humped" multiple stuffed animals at the Park Place Target, including Olaf, the snowman from the wildly successful Disney film Frozen.

The other victim was a large stuffed unicorn.

Police said Cody Meader, 20, of St. Petersburg, entered the store around 2 p.m. Tuesday. He walked up to a display of merchandise from Frozen, picked a large Olaf stuffed animal, placed it on the floor and proceeded to rub himself against it until he ejaculated.

Then he put it back on the display.

The fact that he put it back on display might be the most egregious detail here. At least show that stuffed animal a modicum of respect by bringing home after you non-consensually violate it.

There could have been a totally-tasteless joke in here about cooling down in the warm climate of Florida. Unfortunately, it was a whopping 53 degrees Fahrenheit in St. Petersburg on the day in question. So while there's generally no excusing for ejaculating on a stuffed snowman in the middle of big box store, this guy definitely has no excuse—except for the fact that he lives in Florida.

Image via Wikimedia Commons Read the rest

You know which part we object to most, dear reader. Read the rest

A combination of hubris (failing to heed the stern warnings that bidders should only participate if they know what they're doing), cryptic annotations and confusing illustrations resulted in a bidder buying a 12" wide, 100' long strip between two properties in Broward County, Florida -- an odd parcel that had been formerly owned by the developer, who folded and stopped paying tax on it, sending it to the auction. Read the rest

Rot in jail for cruelty to animals, Florida man.

QCountry 103.7:

A 25-year-old Florida man is jailed in upstate New York after police say he crashed a stolen car and was found naked in a chicken coop after a seven-hour manhunt.

Kirkwood is 57 miles southeast of Ithaca.

State police say John Mehne of Sarasota faces numerous charges, including criminal possession of stolen property for crashing an Audi A5 reported stolen in Florida and cruelty to animals for killing a dog and some chickens.

Police say Mehne crashed the Audi on Interstate 81 about three miles north of the Pennsylvania line Tuesday morning, rode a passing pickup truck for a mile and ran into woods. Police say he stopped at several homes, killing a dog at one and attacking chickens at two others.

He was arraigned Wednesday and jailed without bail. Police say he has requested a lawyer.

Read the rest

Vasile Savu is accused of walking into a Western Union in Hollywood, Florida and asking the clerk to print out his flight itinerary, a pretense he used to get the clerk to insert a thumb-drive loaded with malicious software into his computers, which allegedly allowed Savu to steal $32k from the business. Read the rest

Florida Man is the inaugural kickstarter from Los Angeles's incomparable comics store Secret Headquarters (previously): it challenges players to fill in the blanks from hundreds of cards capturing actual headlines about actual Floridians, creating hilarious, Cards Against Humanity-style madlibs. $20 gets you a game (early bird, rising to $25), $50 gets you a game and expansion pack, and there are tiers with tons of swag and of course a retailer bulk-discount pack. Read the rest