Trail of empty pill bottles led cops to Florida robbery suspects

In Florida, sheriff's officials say a trail of pill bottles stolen from a Florida pharmacy led detectives to a home where they encountered two men who matched descriptions of robbers seen on surveillance video. Read the rest

Florida Man is upset he can't bring his large Donald Trump cutout to dialysis

He wants to know why can't bring his emotional support life-sized cutout of Trump with him to treatments

Florida man asks deputy for directions, gets them to jail when cocaine found

The deputy said the inebriated man initially refused a breath test, saying: “You didn’t pull me over. I pulled you over.”

Florida man arrested for shoplifting, cute puppy accomplice also in custody

Florida Man strikes again. The dog is okay and is being cared for while his owner is booked into jail.

In Hillsborough County, Florida, the Sheriff’s Office says a gentleman named Logan Wilson admitted to shoplifting $259 worth of items from Bass Pro Shops.

Deputies say he was arrested during a traffic stop after he was seen departing the store with stolen goods.

According to a Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office Facebook post, volunteers there will take care of him until his owner bonds out of jail, but the shelter’s website has the puppy listed as “pre-adoptable.”

PHOTO: Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office.

THE CUTEST ACCOMPLICE: The owner of this small puppy was caught shoplifting at an area Bass Pro Shops with the puppy in hand! 🐾

Our District 5 Street Crimes Unit arrested the person for Petit Theft and possession of meth. #TeamHCSO deputies took great care of the puppy before handing him over to Hillsborough County Animal Services who will care for him until his owner is released from jail.

More: Canine accomplice taken into custody during shoplifting arrest [wtsp.com] Read the rest

Florida man swiped Wisconsin woman's debit card data to buy pizza, cops say

A gentleman in Florida man is accused of using a Wisconsin woman's debit card information to purchase $68 worth of Little Caesar's pizza. Read the rest

‘I’m the Orlando Easter Bunny, Google it' — Florida man arrested after hit-and-run

‘I’m the Orlando Easter Bunny, Google it’

Florida man tries to have sex with Olaf from "Frozen" and a stuffed unicorn in a Target

"Do you want to fuck snowman? It doesn't have to be a snowman…"

Apparently—if you're 20-year-old Cody Meadar of St. Petersburg, Florida—it could also be a stuffed toy unicorn.

From the Tampa Bay Times:

A St. Petersburg man was arrested Tuesday after police said he “dry humped" multiple stuffed animals at the Park Place Target, including Olaf, the snowman from the wildly successful Disney film Frozen.

The other victim was a large stuffed unicorn.

Police said Cody Meader, 20, of St. Petersburg, entered the store around 2 p.m. Tuesday. He walked up to a display of merchandise from Frozen, picked a large Olaf stuffed animal, placed it on the floor and proceeded to rub himself against it until he ejaculated.

Then he put it back on the display.

The fact that he put it back on display might be the most egregious detail here. At least show that stuffed animal a modicum of respect by bringing home after you non-consensually violate it.

There could have been a totally-tasteless joke in here about cooling down in the warm climate of Florida. Unfortunately, it was a whopping 53 degrees Fahrenheit in St. Petersburg on the day in question. So while there's generally no excusing for ejaculating on a stuffed snowman in the middle of big box store, this guy definitely has no excuse—except for the fact that he lives in Florida.

Image via Wikimedia Commons Read the rest

Florida Man was selling Trump-shaped ecstasy pills, cops say

You know which part we object to most, dear reader. Read the rest

Florida property-tax auction winner didn't realize he was bidding on a 12"-wide strip between two houses

A combination of hubris (failing to heed the stern warnings that bidders should only participate if they know what they're doing), cryptic annotations and confusing illustrations resulted in a bidder buying a 12" wide, 100' long strip between two properties in Broward County, Florida -- an odd parcel that had been formerly owned by the developer, who folded and stopped paying tax on it, sending it to the auction. Read the rest

Florida man steals car, winds up naked in NY chicken coop

Rot in jail for cruelty to animals, Florida man.

QCountry 103.7:

A 25-year-old Florida man is jailed in upstate New York after police say he crashed a stolen car and was found naked in a chicken coop after a seven-hour manhunt.

Kirkwood is 57 miles southeast of Ithaca.

State police say John Mehne of Sarasota faces numerous charges, including criminal possession of stolen property for crashing an Audi A5 reported stolen in Florida and cruelty to animals for killing a dog and some chickens.

Police say Mehne crashed the Audi on Interstate 81 about three miles north of the Pennsylvania line Tuesday morning, rode a passing pickup truck for a mile and ran into woods. Police say he stopped at several homes, killing a dog at one and attacking chickens at two others.

He was arraigned Wednesday and jailed without bail. Police say he has requested a lawyer.

Read the rest

Florida man convinces Western Union clerk to insert a thumb drive, steals $32K, does it again, gets caught

Vasile Savu is accused of walking into a Western Union in Hollywood, Florida and asking the clerk to print out his flight itinerary, a pretense he used to get the clerk to insert a thumb-drive loaded with malicious software into his computers, which allegedly allowed Savu to steal $32k from the business. Read the rest

Kickstarting "Florida Man," a card game from LA's wonderful Secret Headquarters

Florida Man is the inaugural kickstarter from Los Angeles's incomparable comics store Secret Headquarters (previously): it challenges players to fill in the blanks from hundreds of cards capturing actual headlines about actual Floridians, creating hilarious, Cards Against Humanity-style madlibs. $20 gets you a game (early bird, rising to $25), $50 gets you a game and expansion pack, and there are tiers with tons of swag and of course a retailer bulk-discount pack. Read the rest

TSA finds military rocket-propelled grenade launcher in Florida man's luggage

It was non-functioning.

Florida's Secretary of State resigns after discovery of blackface photos

Having served a whopping 16 days in office, Florida's Republican (shocker) Secretary of State Mike Ertel has resigned after the Tallahassee Democrat newspaper obtained photos of Ertel in blackface, dressed as a Hurricane Katrina survivor. Read the rest

Florida police chief gets 3 years in prison for framing 3 innocent Black men

For framing innocent black men, a police chief in Florida will go to prison for three years. Impunity is the norm in America for cases like this, so the conviction is a big deal. Read the rest

Cesar Sayoc Jr., Florida man, arrested in pipe bomb case; van with 'right wing paraphernalia' seized

The U.S. Justice Department told reporters today that a man in South Florida is in custody in connection with mailing of pipe bombs to political opponents of Donald Trump. Read the rest

Florida man with a literal monkey on his back arrested for car theft

Sometimes people steal cars to pay for that sweet lady H, but this fella allegedly stole a car, possibly to keep the monkey on his back in diapers. Read the rest

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