Gwyneth Paltrow's got a $75 "smells like my vagina" candle

If my vagina smelled like "geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed," I'd go see my doctor. But, then again, I'm also no Gwyneth Paltrow. Her shop Goop recently introduced a $75 candle named "This Smells Like My Vagina."

Described as having a "funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent," the overpriced candle is not meant to actually smell like Paltrow's private parts (thank goodness). The original description, now removed, explains, "This candle started as a joke between perfumer Douglas Little and GP. The two were working on a fragrance, and she blurted out, 'Uhhh..this smells like a vagina'..." The rest is votive history.

If you were hoping to get a whiff of (this) vagina (candle), sorry weirdo, it's already sold out.

image via Goop Read the rest

Gwyneth Paltrow wants to sell you a vibrator

The Goop purveyor was familiar with the line of vibrators but had apparently not seen 'The Tennis Coach' up close. As the interview continues it seems she may not be very familiar with these products.

At least one prior attempt by Goop to sell things that go in and or near a woman's vagina have had bad results. Read the rest

Goob: a notional paltrovian newage woozine generated by Botnik's AI

Botnik used its predictive AI to generate a Gwyneth Paltrow-style website full of woo: goob! It's all very Poe's Law. Read the rest

Gwyneth Paltrow wants you to squirt coffee up your asshole using this $135 glass jar

Goop is Gwyneth Paltrow's life-threatening, wallet-flensing empire of woo, home to smoothie dust, vulva steaming, rocks you keep in your vagina, and a raft of rebadged products that are literally identical to the garbage Alex Jones sells to low-information preppers. Read the rest

Even the woo industry thinks Gwyneth Paltrow's "smoothie dust" ads are too much

Gwyneth Paltrow is patient zero in many epidemics of terrible health ideas (remember the time she told women to steam their vaginas, a practice that can lead to burns [duh] and bacterial imbalances, and which provides none of the claimed benefits?) but finally, she and her lifestye site Goop have gone too far, prompting even the National Ad Division (the self-regulating arm of the unregulated "supplement" industry) to tell her knock it off. Read the rest