D & D character alignments as Valentine's Day conversation hearts

The wonderfully talented artist and illustrator, Michelle Rial, posted this D & D character alignment chart to her Twitter feed.

Which alignment are you? Would you use different candy hearts?

Happy Valentine's Day!

Image: Used with Permission Read the rest

Zoo will name a rat or roach after your ex and feed it to a snake on Valentine’s Day

The San Antonio Zoo in Texas has a special offer for Valentine's Day. For $25 it will name a pre-frozen rodent after your ex and feed it to snake, reports WNEM News.

If your ex isn't worth $25, you can name a cockroach ("sourced from professional roach breeders") for $5 and the zoo will feed it to another hungry animal.

From WNEM:

Even if you (or your exes) don't live in Texas, you can still participate in this "feeding frenzy" because the zoo will be live-streaming the event on Facebook.

You must submit the first name of your ex on the zoo's website by Feb. 13.

(Image: jo.sau, CC-BY-2.0, modified) Read the rest

Super Mario Valentine's Day Card

Nothing says "I love you" more than a greeting card featuring a indefatigable, tube-crawling plumber with a shroom-habit. Get this Hallmark Nintendo Super Mario Valentine's Day Card for Significant Other on Amazon for just [amazon_link asins='B07HSKCLNM' template='PriceLink' store='boingboing' marketplace='US' link_id='6f1885d0-c9ba-45f0-9757-aa245df73f0f']. Read the rest

How to make an origami winged heart

All you need is love, love / Love and paper is all you need

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Casey Weldon's retro Valentine's Day cards bring the snark

With art fashioned after kids pussycat Valentines of yore, Casey Weldon's new 5-card vintage-inspired set is definitely geared to grownups. The Seattle-based artist's messages will put some much-needed sass into this Hallmark holiday. They are, as follows:

-- I want to fuck you like an animal -- And Heaven knows I'm miserable now -- Life's an illusion, Love is a dream -- This is getting old and so are you -- Do you want to find Hell with me? -- I don't even care, We don't have to breed

Sets of these cards (and stickers) go on sale Thursday morning at 10 AM through the Spoke Art gallery website (the original art for these were recently exhibited there).

image 1 via Spoke Art, image 2 via Casey Weldon Read the rest

Confuse loved ones with Adam Driver Valentine's Day cards

A former Marine, actor Adam Driver has been in a lot of things: Girls, a couple of Star Wars movies, and much more. Now, thanks to artist Brandon Bird (previously), he's the focus of a Valentine's Day card set.

A set of three Adam Driver Valentine's Day cards are available for $7 at Bird's site. Read the rest

Send teeny-tiny packages of chocolate this Valentine's Day

I'm a big fan of all the wee things that come out of Leafcutter Designs (previously). Now, for Valentine's Day, they've got tiny packages of TCHO chocolate in their shop. If you order 12 or more of them, you'll also get a 005 Micron pen so you can decorate the little bundles of chocolate-filled joy.

Of course, if you want to mail these out, you'll have to put them in a larger mailer first.

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How Sweetheart candy hearts are made

For more than 100 years, NECCO has cranked out its iconic Sweetheart candies. Some of them are still emblazoned the original statements of "Be Mine," Be Good," and "Kiss Me." The company says that "to meet the high demand for Sweethearts, NECCO continuously produces them from late February through mid-January of the following year."

I prefer learning how they are made to actually eating them.

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Heck Valentines Day just fall in love with some doggos

“For all those that don't have a valentine date or partner, here is some doggies for you to fall in love with instead.” Read the rest

Edible Anus

Just when I think I have seen it all on Amazon, I am reminded that no, I have not.

Today I learned that you can buy a type of chocolate gift box called 'Edible Anus.'

Yup. Read the rest

Cakes with reflective frosting

Russian architecture student Marie Troïtskaia makes astonishing cakes with mirror glaze in her spare time. Her training is evident in the design concepts.

Bonus video: how to make one for Valentine's Day.

Many more on Marie's website.

Marie Oiseau Portfolio: Cakes (via Instagram) Read the rest

Gifts for Lovers in the Death Throes of The American Republic

Gifts for Lovers in the Death Throes of The American Republic

Share a final candle-flicker of joy before the annihilation begins: Twitter / Facebook.

Silver heart pill container pendant / $100

Compartment will fit 6 small antipsychotic pills comfortably.

Jasmine Absolute Essential Oil / $55

An uplifting, hopeful, and romantic scent. Beautiful as a pick me up, or an aphrodisiac. — Xeni

Personalized End Grain Chopping Block / $190

This personally engraved chopping block is to die for! As you shall, in the brutal civil war portended by the election of Donald Trump. — Rob

Square, lightweight plastic flask from Stanley / $15

Sturdy, multicolored flasks that go around the world with you, perfect for a sneaky V-day cocktail with your sweetie (Previously) — Cory

The Womanizer: comes with a "100% orgasm guarantee"

It's not a vibrator. It's a gadget that suckles the clitoris. Vanessa Marin, a licensed psychotherapist specializing in sex therapy, said it "induces powerful orgasms in a shockingly short amount of time." — Mark

Barry White: All-Time Greatest Hits / $4

Want to set the mood? Here's the soundtrack your evening needs. — Jason

Defenders Mushroom Extract Blend / $35

Say it with shrooms! This is a high-quality Asian medicinal mushroom extract tonic, an exotic blend with purported adaptogenic properties. It may brighten up your brain and help you cope with stress. Chaga, Reishi, Shiitake, Maitake and Turkey Tail. — Xeni

Key Knife / $12

A blade cleverly hidden in a key-shaped handle, which many report having successfully taken through TSA checkpoints — Cory

Crystal Ball / $13

Your loved one might need this to see into the future of our country. Read the rest

Gifts for Lovers: our Valentine's Day shopping guide

Boing Boing is proud to present its inaugural February Fuck Day gift guide

Ancient money shot, caught in chert

In a fossil of 400-million-year-old plants, the world's oldest sample of ejaculate. Read the rest

Notably adorable child explains how to bake vegan red velvet cupcakes for Valentines Day

It doesn't matter if you're vegan or like "wed vewvet" cupcakes, Petey Rojas is a very entertaining child.

10 possibly romantic facts about shark reproduction

Warning: Story includes photos of a male shark's genitalia. Read the rest

Vintage vinegar valentines: mass-produced insult cards

"Vinegar valentines" are insult greeting cards popular in the 19th and early 20th century. Over at Collectors Weekly, Lisa Hix shares a fine selection of these snarky missives. "Happy Valentine’s Day, I Hate You" Read the rest

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